Bulbs & God's Miracles
My moods have been as drab
and dreary as the weather these past few months. The garden
at the front of our house is a wasteland of dead grass and
weeds, hard and crusty cold ground. My emotions have struggled
to be more than that.
A few weeks before the cold
weather came, I pulled out the rest of our summer garden.
I marveled at the change in the green leaves of spring --
the fresh squash blooms and the red tomatoes -- the life
of summer. Everything was drying up…preparing for the battle
Not knowing that our own battle
would soon come, I prepared the flower beds for winter.
Sweet little 4 year old Chloe from church had given me some
tulip bulbs, just because she knew I liked flowers.
"These will be OUR flowers,"
I told her. "We'll plant them and watch them grow together!"
Several weeks after, she and I and the twins worked side
by side, pulling dead plants out of the flower beds and
poking those ugly bulbs down one by one in the cool dirt
in front of our house.
"How can flowers come
from these ugly old balls?" Chloe asked.
"When will they become
flowers?" asked one of the twins.
"Sometime in the spring.
We will watch! Remember what they look like now, because
it will be amazing to see what God does!"
I forgot all about those tulip
bulbs and watching for God's miracles when a few weeks before
Christmas, Jonah woke up and couldn't walk. Since that sad
and shocking time, I have lain awake at night, crying and
wondering what to do. Surely this wasn't happening to us.
How could I fix this? Surely this would pass. Surely I would
wake up the next morning and his pain would be gone. Surely
I would hear Jonah bounding down the stairs in his big clunky
orthopedic shoes. Surely I would hear his hammer and saw
in the garage as he built some new wooden invention…surely.
Surely not my baby, Lord!
But why not my baby? A few
days after Jonah's January birthday -- a birthday spent
in his wheelchair -- I was driving downtown and saw a handicapped
man in a wheelchair cruising through the streets. He was
dirty and disheveled. As I was stopped at a red light I
watched him moving through the crowd. The Spirit then whispered
in my ear, "Do you think that the children I gave to
you are better than the rest of My children? Do you?"
So why not us?
For three months we've been
on this journey of pain. I've seen my 12 year old Jonah
cry more in these past three months than ever in his life.
He's always had pain -- even before we understood his disease
-- but it's never been this intense. He's always had the
habit of praising God with the pain -- each time he felt
a pain he would think of something to praise God for. But
praise has truly been a sacrifice with this much pain. He's
had strong days -- days of God's promises and a joyful heart.
And he's had weak days -- days as ugly as Chloe's bulbs…days
that I'd like to bury in the cold ground of winter and never
look at again.
This coming week we will travel
to Cincinnati Children's Hospital to the Connective Tissue
Clinic. Can they help Jonah to walk again? I don't know.
In a way I dread going. What if there's nothing they can
do? Do I really want to hear that? How can any kind of hope
or beauty come from such ugly pain?
The other night during Bible
study, Ken asked if anyone had a prayer request. Little
Chloe was standing next to me. I didn't even know she was
listening. Suddenly she called out, seriously and determined
-- and so loudly that it made me jump,
"I WANT JONAH TO WALK
Chloe is praying for Jonah.
Many people are.
This morning as we were getting
ready to go to church, I stepped outside to look at the
sleet and rain. Wet, dreary, miserable.
But then I saw them…strong
green stems…pushing up through the cold hard soil. Chloe's
bulbs have begun to grow…the promise of change! The hope
of beauty. New life.
Whether or not Jonah walks
again, I will remember Chloe's bulbs and God's miracles.
God's miracles are about new life -- maybe not new legs
-- but certainly about new purpose and new joy. New growth.
Spring is coming. Just watch!
Remember what this looks like now, because it will be amazing
to see what God does!
Yet God has made everything beautiful
for its own time.He
has planted eternity
in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole
God's work from beginning to end.
© 2013. Faith Matters by Lygia Lovelace. All rights